Finding Eros
by InFoDaGigs
Summary: Envisioning the pork cutlet bowl to find your sexy is cute and all ... But ... Victor has a better solution. [Yaoi] [Viktuuri]
1. Chapter 1

China.

The Grand Prix ...

I won't even make it to the Grand Prix if I don't qualify. The routine is flawles, intense, beautiful and very ...

... Victor.

He's my coach. He's my coach? I'm still ... I don't know. Reeling from the shock? It hasn't sunk in that's for sure. I don't know how I beat Yuri, or even if I did. He walked out before Victor made his decision. Winner by default. Story of my life.

I sweep around the rink, building speed. The quadruple toe loop needs enough speed to get the height, but not enough to -

My butt stings as it hits the ice. I let the momentum drag me across the rink.

Dammit.

He makes it look so easy! So effortless, graceful. The side of my palm hurts as much as my butt after I slam it against the ice in frustration.

My face is numb, tender from the cold air. My breathing is embarrassingly ragged. After two hours of training I'm drained. Two hours?

I pull myself up, shake off the pain and settle myself to continue, taking a deep breath as I sweep around the rink once more.

I do a few combinations to relieve the frustration of failing - for the millionth time - in landing the quadruple flip. Triple Salchow. Perfect. Double toe loop. Triple toe loop.

My chest, thighs and shoulders are burning, but I ignore it as I twirl through a step sequence. I have to land Victor's signature move, or all this will mean nothing.

I'm gaining speed again, using the momentum to fly across the ice. I can't compare myself to him. There is no comparison. What Victor has can't be taught. No amount of training or repitition can suddenly make you a five time world champion! I'm kidding myself if that's what I think will happen.

Victor is a natural-born champion. His level of composure and elegance can't be copied or duplicated. When he's on the ice all eyes are on him. You are helpless to resist and cannot take your eyes off him.

When Victor skates he transforms into something inhuman. Like an other-worldly being whose ethereal presence is profoundly irresistible. He hypnotises you with his movement and somehow makes you forget everything but him. There's no way I can compare to that.

I prepare for the jump - land it! But my ankle gives out and before I know it, I'm skittering across the ice once more. I'm on my stomach; my forehead, nose and lips freeze to the ice, steam rises in puffs as I pant.

My chest and throat constrict as my eyes burn and tears well. This ... Is ... This isn't me! I'm the best skater this side of the Pacific! I'm not meant to bomb like this! It's one stupid jump! One more rotation, five percent more speed, one tenth more landing stress! So why can't I -

The tears pool on the ice and freeze. The pounding in my ankle and the throbbing in my butt - not to mention the million and one bruises all over my body - taunt me.

Maybe the quad toe loop is my limit? Maybe ... That's as far as my talent goes? Is there something wrong with that? Maybe ... Just maybe ... I've aimed too high with my expectations, maybe I really am just not that good.

NO!

I'm Yuri Katsuski. I'm the ranking skater this side of the Pacific. That must count for something? I must be good, just not as good as - NO! I need to forget about Victor. I need to stop trying to claw my way up to his standards and expectations. I am not Victor! I need to skate my own way. It's the only way I will win.

"What are you doing?"

Black velvet skates slide into my view. I'm still lying in the same position on the ice as before my little pep talk. I feel my cheeks flush, and scramble into a half sit.

Victor squats down in front of me and I instantly look down at the ice, willing the flush to leave my cheeks. I can't look at him. He must have seen. He saw me bomb and who knows what else. At least I've stopped crying.

"Was it a new step I don't know about? Well, I don't know if the technical score would be too high, but-"

I'm on my feet as anger smashes into my chest. I don't know what's caused it, he's touched me a million times before, but this time had a different, inexplicable reaction.

"Yuri-"

I need this not to blow up into something bigger, but I seriously can't be anywhere near him right now.

"I'm tired." Yeah. Wow. "I'm going home now." I know the smile I forced was more like a sneer, but I couldn't hide it. A quick glance at him reveals a fading hard line to his mouth. He smiles, I look away again.

"Well, okay. We'll start tomorrow's session bright and early, okay?"

I nod, but that's it, I'm done with him for now. I'm over to the gate before I know it, debating which would be quicker between ripping my skates off or putting on the guards.

"Bright and early," Victor calls.

I grab the guards and slam them on, practically running to grab my stuff and leave, hoping no one else is around to bump into. Of course not, it's eleven at night, no one will be here.

China's not looking promising. If this- whatever this is that I'm feeling right now- doesn't go away, there goes China, and probably the whole season.

The panic is a torrent by the time I get home. I slide my door shut, slide down to the floor. I can't do this! I'm quitting, right now. I'm going to run away to somewhere nobody knows me. Somewhere warm and sunny where skating can't possibly be a sport.

I'm quitting! It's the only choice I have. The stress is killing me, the expectation and the anticipation is going to give me a heart attack. I can't! I can't do it! I should have quit after last year, I should have taken the signs and listened to them. I'm not cut out for all this stress.

The tears flow freely from my eyes, I gasp in long halting breaths. I can't breathe properly. I screw my fingers into my hair, pull at my scalp hoping to alleviate the pressure.

I. Can't. Do. This. Anymore.

I don't know what Victor was thinking becoming my coach, but he's wrong. I'll just embarrass him, I won't drag him down with me.

I grab my phone, the screen is blurry through the tears. I sniff back the stuff dribbling from my nose, and blink through the tears. My hands are shaking as I log onto Instagram.

I write out a post explaining my plan. I say sorry and explain why. I read it back before I post. It just doesn't sum it up. I delete it instantly and replace the post with two words.

'I quit.'

I log out, toss my phone away, I don't want to look at it anymore. I lock my door. Everyone is asleep. Everyone should be asleep, including me. I cry myself to sleep, soaking my pillows in my hopelessness. That's what I'm feeling. I figured it out as I teetered on the cusp of sleep. This whole situation is hopeless and there's no point fighting it anymore.


	2. Chapter 2

BANG BANG BANG BANG!

I'm ripped from a dreamless uncomfortable sleep by the sound. I sit bolt upright as my heart pounds. My head is heavy and the tears are dry and sticky on my cheeks. I know my eyes are puffy. So is my nose and my lips.

BANG BANG BANG!

It's still dim.

BANG BANG BANG BANG.

Still very early.

BANG BANG!

"Yuri, open the door."

Victor's tone is high and silky. My heart thumps faster, I realise I'm shaking. I wrap my arms around my legs and rest my head on my knees.

This was going to happen. Of course it was. Everyone knows now. I doubt Victor will be the only visitor I have today. But, there's no doubt he will probably be the scari-

BANG! THUMP!

I flinch from the sound.

"Open this door please, or I will-"

THUMP!

"-break it down."

There's no doubt he would either, but if I do, it's real and I will have to deal with the consequences. I made the choice, but I'm not ready to own up to it.

My phone rings, I jump. It's right there under the bed. I ignore it until it stops. It rings again-

"Yuri! Open the-"

"LEAVE ME ALONE!"

I cup my hands over my ears and screw my eyes shut, hoping to block out the barrage of angry noises.

The banging stops, the phone stops and everything is suddenly quiet. The only sound is my hollow breathing echoing in my ears. I drop my hands from my ears, listening desperately to the silence.

I can hear muffled voices out in the hallway. They are low and the exchanges are quick. It suddenly goes quiet again.

Maybe ... I didn't think it through. Maybe I let my emotions get the better of me, and now I'm in the middle of an even deeper mess. I wasn't thinking. I didn' think about anyone else but me. It seemed so real last night; the stress, the anger, the hopelessness, they were all real, but now, just maybe, I made the wrong decision.

I open the door.

Mum, Mari, and even Yuuko are gathered outside. Heads turn to me. Angry eyes, sad eyes, hard mouths, knitted brow and crossed arms, all directed at me. Victor is strangely absent, even though he was so vocal a minute ago.

"But you are one of the best skaters-"

Victor rushes down the hall with a small axe. He stops directly in front of me. My mother gapes at him.

"Victor, put that away!"

Victor carefully hands her the axe and steps forward with an unreadable light in his usually bright eyes.

"If it is alright with you Horiko-chan, I need to have a word with my student."

By the look on her face, I think my mum was still shocked that Victor had the courage to disrespect her like that. Victor grips my shoulder, smiles at my family and holds up a finger.

"This won't take long, then he is all yours." He pushes me back into my room, shutting my family out in the hall. The reassuring smile instantly fades as sharp blue eyes snap to me.

I sit heavily on the side of the bed. I'm not ready for a lecture, and I'm definitely not ready for him to hate me as much as I think he does right now. He's definitely angry. Definitely not happy at all. He stares at me for what feels like forever.

I still myself for him to start lecturing me about weakness and resolve, and shoot me down as the coward I am-

"Yuri, this is my fault."

Victor kneels in front of me, balances with his hands either side of my legs. The darkness in his eyes I mistook for anger was actually more a reserved sadness.

"I have been pushing you beyond your comfort zone because I truly believed it would force you to use the talent I know you possess. But, instead ..."

He waves his hand. "Apparently I pushed too hard." He sighs, squeezes my hand briefly, stands. "I didn't mean to cause you any pain. I didn't want to hurt you at all. I just wanted ..."

The smile is sad. He pats my hand. "I hope you all the best for whatever future will make you happy."

"I embarrassed you." It's a strangled squeak from my raw tight throat. "I'm an embarrassment to you."

He cocks his head to the side, his mouth a hard line.

"I can't even cleanly execute the quad-"

Victor's cool fingers curl around my own. A gasp escapes as I snatch my hand from his.

"Yuri, listen to me." He suddenly leans forward over me, his warm breath pulses against my ear. "I'm going to tell you something, but if you tell anyone I will have no choice but to -"

"I won't tell anyone." He's Russian, I'm sure my painful death would be very creative.

His face contorts in amusement. "It took six months for me to even land the quad flip." He pulls back and smiles, but I can't read the emotion behind it. "And I'm meant to be talented."

He pulls my glasses from my face and wipes his thumbs over my eyes. I didn't realise I was crying again.

"I know what you're capable of, but I don't think that you believe it yet. I know you are under a lot of pressure, but I'm just asking for one thing from you."

"What?"

He sighs and sits down next to me, I jump as he traces his fingers over my upper arm. I pull away from him. If he even thinks that's what I want from him, he's gone completely crazy! I'm not some sort of-

"Answer me this, Yuri. Who am I?"

Right now, he was the guy who was doing a marvelous job of being very confusing.

"It's a simple question, Yuri."

"Victor Nikiforov?"

Victor nods. "And what does that mean?"

"You're ..." Asking very random and pointless questions? I shrug. "You're the skater we all want to be. You have a talent we can only dream of. You're the five time world champion, you hold the current world record. You are the child prodigy of Russia. We can't - what?"

He's laughing.

"What's so funny?"

"To sum up your wonderful description, I know what I'm talking about, wouldn't you agree?"

"Yes. Of course you do. You're like a skating god or-"

"No. Not like. Am, Yuri. Or, so they say."

Wow. Just wow. He's even more arrogant than I thought. If he thinks talking about his stellar career was meant to cheer me up, he was so wrong.

"Okay, how about this. Where am I right now?"

"Here."

He nods. "With ...?"

I seriously don't know what he's going on about. This must be my punishment for quitting. I have to listen to him gloat about how good he is. Fantastic.

He pulls me into a light hug. My body stiffens from the shock of his sudden proximity. Mild panic washes over me. I have to escape! He's too close!

But he thankfully releases me and the panic fades. My heart calms down and I suck in a subtle steadying breath.

"I'm with you, Yuri. I will not lie, this was not the best career move I have ever made, and maybe I'm not very good at this coaching buisness, but, I know what I'm talking about and at this point in time what I'm talking about is-"

"Me."

He claps his hands together. "You. So, like I say, I only need one thing from you right now, okay?"

"And that would be?"

His eyes shine.. "Your trust, Yuri. Even if you don't believe in your own talent, even if you want to quit, I want you to trust that I know you can do this. And I want you to know it too."

"But, Victor, I already announced-"

Victor shook his head. "Don't worry about that now. I will sort it out, I promise."


	3. Chapter 3

I agreed to take back my retirement, and Victor handled the press. He was very creative, telling them that my account had been hacked, and the whole thing was a hoax.

Opening pose. Deep breath. The music starts in my ears.

He asked me to go along with it. Told me to smile and nod, but not say anything in case I slipped up. When the press, and everyone else, was convinced, Victor said we were not going talk about it again. So far, we haven't.

Opening sequence. Think of the hot, tender noodles; delicate tendrils of passionate love. Be like the broth; hot and steaming, bubbling with desire, drowning you with lustful intention. Build speed and -

Triple loop! Double flip, triple Axel.

YES! Perfect! Next sequence ...

I am ... I'm the epitome of sexuality, I'm irresistible and delicious. One helping is not enough. I will make you weak, I will break you with my pass-

Quadruple Salchow! Triple Flip!

PERFECT!

I'm a sex god! I'm ... I'm ... Eros fills every fibre of my being. I breathe Eros. I. AM. EROS.

Closing pose. Music reaches a crescendo and stops. Catch my breath.

YES! I did it! I landed all the jumps and executed the step sequences flawlessly. I finished with the music, timed it perfectly. It was -

"Victor!"

He's standing at the gate. I glide toward him. The high of the routine making me grin. I don't even care that it was the one and only time I did it perfectly.

"I did it! I didn't fall once. It was perfect. Did you see?"

His eyes are crinkled from his smile. "I very much liked seeing you not fall down for once."

Wow. Thanks for the sentiment, Victor.

"Again," he says.

I have some water and hand him the bottle, then glide back to the middle of the rink, resetting the music.

I'll show him. I'll show him my Eros. I'll make him weak with my passion.

Opening pose. Deep breath. I glance at Victor, he's still smiling. Music starts.

Opening sequence. I am Eros. I am the murky depths of deliciousness contrasted with tender and perfect -

Triple loop! Damn, messed up the landing .. Double loop! Good! Triple Axel! Yes!

Next sequence. Passion. Love. Lust. Victor's form blurrs in my vision as I spin and twirl. Build speed and-

Quadruple Salchow! Yes! Triple Flip! Yes! Perfect!.

Closing sequence. Closing pose. I turn to Victor, expecting him to clap or something, but I catch the end of an intense look which instantly dissolves.

I wish I felt the same elation as before, but as I skate back over to him, the feeling is just not there. It was good, but it wasn't perfect like before. But, it was still amazing.

"So .. What do you-"

In an instant, his eyes snap to me and I'm gliding backward onto the ice again. He has my hands in a female hold.

I can't tear my eyes away from his. His stare is intense and shining. His lips are a hard line. They part slowly and his stare slides from my face.

I'm blinking, his eyes close for a moment as he throws us into a spin. I can't stop looking at him. He suddenly pulls me against him, presses his palm into my lower back, grips my other hand. His hips pull against mine, he pushes me to full arm length, pulls me back to him.

Our chests slam against each other, I gasp as my breath is knocked from my lungs. The moment lasts an eternity. I'm frozen as he sweeps his fingers lightly through my hair. His eyes roam over me and I feel the heat rise to my cheeks along with .. Some other feeling somewhere in my lower abdomen. Finally, the moment passes, and I'm free to breathe.

"Swan lift," he whispers and before I know what's happening I'm balanced perfectly on his shoulder as he turns us slowly. I slide down his body and land, met once more with those eyes.

He leads us around the ice, I'm like a puppet, unable to control my own movements. I don't know what's happening to me. I feel ... Strange. The mix of emotion and feeling both physical and otherwise is completely alien to me. Exhileration, excitement, fear? They just don't cut it right now.

Suddenly, I'm free as Victor glides away. He appears lost in his own world as he performs an unfamiliar step sequence. And then-

Three quadruple flips in a row? And it doesn't even look like he was trying! He grabs me around the waist from behind and moves us forward.

He turns me to face him, locks eyes with me and skates around me. I'm so hypnotised, I don't even take in the elements he's executing. I'm drawn in, helpless, I can't look away. He ... Is too close ... Our foreheads touch briefly. I can almost see my reflection in his eyes ... I want to ... His lips ... I wonder-

And then, he's gone. I fall to my knees, panting for no reason. I'm warm, sweating, breathless. The heat in my cheeks burns my fingertips. My lips are freezing.

I need to calm down, but I can't get Victor out of my head! He's not human! There are no words I can even think of to describe what just happened.

Victor holds out his hand and I get to my feet. My heart is still pounding. The way he looked at me ...

"Victor -"

"Eros is not something you learn, Yuri. It's a feeling." My lips are dry, so I lick them. Victor wipes his thumb over my bottom lip. "Ciao." He leaves me stunned to the spot. I hear the double doors slide shut.

He wasn't at home when I got back, and he didn't come back all night. I went to his room, but his bed hadn't been slept in. I could go and look for him, Hasetsu isn't that big, but I realised I was starving. I realised I hadn't eaten since yesterday morning, and the aroma of mum's breakfast nabe wafting up from the kitchen was making my mouth water.

It's chilly this morning and I'm shivering until I pull on a top and jacket. I head out of my room. If Victor wants some alone time I don't mind. It's fine, it doesn't bother me at all.

It's just ...

I can't help but think that I've made him mad somehow. I don't know exactly what I've done, and it is strange that he's not here a few days before we fly out to Beijing, but I figure whatever I've done must be bad.

Oh. My. God.

What if he's decided this was a bad idea after all? What if he thinks I'm worthless and a waste of time? Yuri is talented and determined, and only fifteen. And Russian. The two of them have a connection I couldn't possibly have.

What if he thinks I'm a useless no talent wash up that can never get back to my top form? What if my skating last night was the final straw for him? He's been trying all these weeks to mould me into something I'm not sure I can be. What if he's given up on me completely?

"-with your pork?"

My mum's looking at me expectantly. I was half hoping Victor might be here.

"My pork?"

Mum gives me a concerned look. "You look pale. Did you sleep okay? Is Victor working you too hard?"

I don't know why my cheeks warm. I turn away to hide it. Hoping it will fade as fast as it came.

"Where is Victor anyway? He's not usually late for breakfast ... Did you do something to him?"

My cheeks get even hotter. "No. I-"

"Hiroko, leave the boy alone," dad says from behind me. He pats me on the shoulder, leads me over to the table. "Victor has generated enough extra revenue for the place. He's allowed to not be here."

Dad pushes me down to the table. Mum places a bowl in front of me, slopping nabe over the side. It smells so good, like always.

"Of course," dad continues, "we really are doing very well at the moment. It would be a shame if he did leave." Dad shrugs and starts eating.

"Oi, Yuri, pass the pork," my sister demanded. I pass her the bowl and she snatches it from me. I can't wait any longer and dip my spoon into my bowl-

Nabe splashes everywhere as I'm suddenly thrown forward and my spoon is knocked from my hand. What the-

Victor has draped himself over my shoulder, and my blush has now reached full heat.

"Good morning, everyone," Victor chimes brightly. "How are you this morning, Yuri?" Before I have a chance to answer my mum swoops on him.

"Victor!" my mum says warmly. "We were worried you weren't going to be joining us-"

Victor pulls me up from the floor as I try to take another bite of breakfast.

"I'm sorry we can't stay for breakfast, Hiroko-chan, it looks so tempting too, but we must go."

Victor dragged me from the dining room, I shrug apologetically to my mum. At least I don't have to go looking for him now, but I wish he would let me go.

A few minutes later, after being dragged half a block, I realised where we were.

"Victor, why are we-" he slaps his palm over my mouth.

"Just please trust me for once."

I ... I do trust him. But I was confused. We were heading through the village square, into the host district.

He leads me into one of the few guesthouses in Hasetsu. The hostess bows deeply at us.

"Ohaiyou gozaimasu, Nikiforov-san, you will not be disturbed, just as you have requested. Please follow me."

The hostess leads us to a suite overlooking a leafy garden. I catch the moment Victor pushes a large wad of money into the hostess' hand. She smiles, bows and leaves.

Victor turns his innocent smiling self to me. He opens his mouth to say something, but I'm on him in an instant, pushing an accusing finger into his chest.

"What is all this for?"

He pulls me out onto the balcony and breathes in a deep breath while stretching.

"Isn't it beautiful, Yuri? I found it on the internet."

"So pretty," I said. It sounded very sarcastic. Victor waves a hand at me.

"Sit, sit," he said motioning to a small bench. "We have a lot to talk about." He sits on the bench, and pats the spot next to him. Why not? I'm intrigued ...

"You're very self-conscious around people, and I think you care a lot about not making a fool of yourself. Am I correct?"

"I don't care what people think-"

"Of course you do. I have proof. There's no point denying it. So I brought you here so you won't have to worry about impressing anyone. You can just be yourself, nobody is looking."

"What proof?"

"I want to know the real you," he says. "That way I can coach you better, understand?"

I really want to see his proof ...

"Let's start with the Eros program-"

"That I messed up."

He smiles and pats my thigh. "Yes. And no. You execute the elements perfectly. All the jumps are flawless, all the steps and timing is beyond perfect."

"Then why are you so mad at me?"

"Who said I was-"

"Last night?"

He brushes his fingers lightly through my hair, and suddenly ... My heart is thumping.

"I want to know what you feel when you're skating the Eros program." His fingers trail down my face, down my neck to my arm. I shiver from his touch. "What are you thinking when you're on the ice? Where does your passion come from?" His fingers come to rest on my thigh.

"I ..." Don't know ... I mostly think about not stuffing up, but I can't say that. I think about the jumps, about the music and its timing.

"Who do you think of?"

"I don't think of anyone." I shift in place, very aware of his fingers on my leg.

"And it shows, Yuri. The routine is flawless, but I don't feel anything from it. I want to feel the tension, the lust, the sex -"

"Then why did you choreograph something that I know nothing about!?"

He gasps, but then composes himself. Better than I have anyway. I don't know anything about passion or ... Any of it! So, why am I doing it for China?

"I'm sure there is someone ... Oh," he says. I guess my face says it all. I slump back on the bench, ignoring Victor's solemn look.

"Well, this makes perfect sense," he says. "I only thought you weren't connecting with your feelings."

"It's really none of your business if I have 'feelings' or not."

"Of course it is. I can't draw out your full potential if I don't know what I'm working with can I?"

I shake my head. He has a point there.

He sighs, taps his chin. "Well, I see only two choices here. Either we change your routine-"

"But the competition is only a week away! I can't learn a new routine and have it perfect in a week! You're crazy!"

"Of course, so there's only one other option." He takes my hand and leads me back into the room. I'm frozen in place, apprehension thumping in my gut.

"V-Victor, what are you doing?"

He steps close to me ... Cups my chin in his fingers, wipes his thumb over my lips, staring at me.

"W-what-

"We need to make you feel something, Yuri, or you will fail."

He comes back a minute later ... In my SP costume. It was his costume after all, of course he wears it so much better than I do.

"This was always one of my favourites," he looks himself over in the mirror in the corner, then turns to me. "I have very fond memories of this costume. It is very special to me."

And then something changes. He frowns and his eyebrows crease. His gaze slips from me and he sighs, turning back to the mirror.

The small sad smile as he looks himself over says it all. He misses it. All the hype, the thrill of competition - not that there's any competition for him - the adoring fans, the late nights practicing. All of it. He's regretting taking the season off, probably regretting coaching me as well.

He has been my idol since I was a kid. I know what everyone is thinking, because I'm thinking it too. It's just not going to be as fun without him.

Skating alongside a practical god gives the sport just that little more excitement, whether you can come close to him or not. This will be my eighth season, I've skated in the senior division behind Victor for a long time, and this is the first time I've ever seen him unsure of himself. He turns to me again, the smile doesn't reach his eyes.

"It belongs to you now." He undoes the zipper and starts shrugging the costume from his shoulders. I gasp as he closes the space between us. The costume falls to his waist, revealing his bare chest.

I could only hope to be that sculpted and defined. I can never have such strong arms, I can't gain muscle without tremendous effort. Believe me I've tried, but even then my small frame still looks long and thin. I'm jealous of his strong arms and chest, and abs, and -

"You can touch me if you want to. You seem to want to by the way you're staring at me. I don't mind, go ahead."

I can't do that! I can't just run my hands all over his chest, and feel the muscle ripple under my fingers. I can't just ...

"Yuri?"

"What, Victor?" I didn't mean to sound so hard. But, I was fighting with a barrage of unfamiliar feeling and thoughts.

"Touch me."

The heat rises to my cheeks and my heart pumps faster. I can't ... I ... My arm tickles as his fingers trace over my skin.

He takes my fingers in his own and pushes my palm into his chest. I'm unconsciously pulling away, but he won't let me. My heart is now pounding, pulsing all sorts of weird feelings through my body.

I realise I'm running my fingers over his arms without his encouragement. His hand slips around my waist and he pulls me closer. I barely notice that I'm pressed into his chest, his back is amazing. The muscle bunches and ripples as he his hand roams down my thigh.

"Yuri?" he whispers.

Something's thumping .. I feel like my heart's about to burst out of my chest. This is surreal. This is impossible. He's making me so ..

"Can I kiss you now?"


	4. Chapter 4

**Warning: Chapter 4 is a little bit dirty.**

 **Enjoy ^_^**

His lips are rough and warm and sweet. My heart explodes. My gut drips out of my skin. I'm tingling all over as my knees threaten to give out. And then, just as I thought I would dissolve from all the explosive feeling, he pulls away.

I was actually panting. It took a bit of effort, but I took a few deep breaths and willed my heart to slow down. Victor's piercing gaze locks onto me and he smirks before his eyes travel downward.

He turns me toward the mirror. I didn't know that level of embarrassment existed. I looked so messy. Red shiny cheeks, hair all over the place and ...

Oh god.

I cover my crotch quickly and turn away from the mirror, and away from Victor. This is so embarrassing. So, so embarrassing.

"Don't," I hear him say. "Please don't hide it."

His gaze is so intense. I feel his cool fingertips on my forearm. My skin tingles from the light touch. My hands automatically drop from my crotch as I'm mesmerised by his eyes.

He chews his bottom lip for a moment, his eyes narrow in consideration. "It's only fair, wouldn't you agree, that I now get to touch you?"

I can't get my brain to form words. If I could, I would have agreed with him. It was only fair.

His fingers brush my cheek, my jaw, trail down my chest, down my torso, down ... I gasp and instantly rip myself away from his touch as he ... He ... He wasn't meant to touch me there! I'm not ready for that.

His fingers are around my wrist. He steps even closer, if that was even possible. He's using my hand to ...

Oh god.

I focus on the warm tingling feeling from down below. It's only gentle, only subtle at the moment, but my heart's pounding and I'm definitely feeling a bit hot. I want more, I want the feeling to intensify, I'm impatient for it to engulf me.

Victor's palm presses into the back of my fist. I think I groaned from the sudden pressure and actually-

A gasp escapes involuntarily from my throat and I step back quickly. I just rubbed myself on Victor's palm. Just thrust into his hand. I didn't do it delibetately, it just happened on it's own.

Victor closes the gap I just created. He's staring at me. I feel his palm against my shaft. He slowly wipes his palm up my erection and back down again. Gradually he increases the pace, increases the pressure, all the while staring at me.

I'm jelly in his hands; I push my hard on into his hand, increase the friction by pressing down into his fingers. He's lips ghost down my neck, resting against the junction of my shoulder. He's sucking softly, and it's driving me crazy with sensation.

I can't tell if it's me groaning or him. His sending explosive shuddering through my body. I can barely breathe as the sensation grows.

"Don't stop," I say. My voice is a quiet groan. I don't remember wanting to speak. "Oh god, just ... Like that." The last part was a barely audible gasp as another wave of pleasant shivers wash over me.

"I'm sorry, Yuri."

"For wha-"

He grabs the back of my neck and rips me forward. I slam into his chest. His hard on presses into my stomach. His other hand snakes around my waist. I'm moving backward, pushed firmly as Victor steps forward.

"I am just so sorry," he murmurs. His hot breath pulses against my lips and nose. "But I just can't ignore you anymore."

My lips are engulfed in his and that's the last thing I remember for a few minutes. The next thing I know, I'm on the bed, on my back, in only my briefs and T-shirt and Victor is kneeling over me. My lips are puffy and tender and my heart is threatening to burst out of my chest.

He's staring at me, and it is scary. I've never seen that look before. He licks his lips.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"If you could see yourself, you would be staring too. Believe me."

He licks his lips. Oh my god, does he want to ear me or something? He's laughing.

"You look scared, Yuri."

"I think I am scared."

"I think you should kiss me."

His lips part, his silver hair falls over his shining eyes as he leans down. He is warm, I can feel it radiate from him. I grab the back of his neck and pull him back down. Our lips meet, but he doesn't react. He doesn't do anything.

"Make me feel something, Yuri," he murmurs against my lips, and in that instant, something snaps inside me and I lose all control.

I kiss him. If that's what you can call the wet sloppy mess I've left on him. He's smiling, I can feel it against my lips and it just goads me on. His throat pulses quickly, I lick and suck just under his jawline. His skin tastes salty, but it's not a bad thing. His fingers grip my scalp as he throws his chin back. I suck a little harder because I want to.

"Mmm."

I think he just moaned. His throat vibrates against my lips. I think he's enjoying it. Suddenly, he presses his hips down ... And something grazes against my thigh.

"Why did you stop?"

He looks at me, but only for a moment. His voice is different, low and ragged, and panting. His cheeks are flushed. He's looking away like he wants something, but doesn't want to ask for it.

"I ..." Have never done this before? And I'm not sure how it's meant to go? And I'm not sure if I'm doing the right thing? "I want to ..." The heat rises to my cheeks and my stomach pounds. I'm imagining what I want to do, I want to make him scream, I want him breathless and desperate, and wild and ... and ... I'm getting a bit hot. That's probably the best word for it.

I gasp as Victor slowly lowers on top of me. We're face to face, he's stroking my hair, which feels amazing. He kisses the air between us, smiles. My stomach thumps, and I'm almost over the edge.

I contain a groan as he caresses my throat with his lips. It's so embarrassing. I feel so stupid - exposed - right now. He pulls my hands from my face. "No. I want to hear you," he whispers. I try to muffle another groan as my side prickles from Victor's fingers sliding under my top. They snake around to my back and he pulls me under him. My thigh and butt tickle in turn as his fingers trace over my skin.

"Tell me what you're feeling.' His lips touch my cheek, my jaw, my forehead. His warm hands slide up my arm, pinning it above my head.

"I think I'm feeling ..." This is all new. So different to what I was expecting. So much more intense. Just so much more. "Something I have never experienced before."

"And what is that, Yuri?"

"Eros, Victor," my voice sounds strange, very breathy and shakey.

"Really? Mm, and what does Eros feel like?"

I want to brush his hair from his eyes, I want to see his face. "Like ..." This? Definitely. I pull him to me, wrap my legs around his waist and kiss him. "It's this, Victor."

His breath puffs in short bursts against my shoulder. His fingers have invaded my briefs. He's stroking my thigh. Suddenly, I'm straddled across his lap. He pulls my top off and tosses it lazily to the floor. His eyes roam over me, he strokes his chin, considering. If I felt exposed before, this was torture.

He presses a finger to his lips and shakes his head. "What am I going to do with you now?"

I have never heard something so sexy in my life. "Whatever you want," I say. I wasn't meant to say it aloud. I cover my mouth, the embarrassment washing agonisingly through me. I can't look at him, and bury my face in my hands.

Victor pulls my hands down. He's smiling. "Well, what I want ..." He bites his lip. Then,he licks slowly up my throat, and finally I give up resisting him.

He licks my bare chest, nibbles at my skin. My skin prickles again from his touch. He pushes me backward until I'm on my back. I watch his silver hair shine and shimmer in the late morning light as he licks and nibbles and sucks -

"Mgh, Victor ..."

He's licking and sucking my nipple. The sudden shock of sensation makes me shiver. He continues his exploration with his tongue, but if he doesn't stop soon, I'm going to burst. Suddenly, I'm met with intense eyes and my briefs are off! He smirks and continues his exploration, staring at me as he works his way down.

He closes his eyes and -

I flinch from the feeling of his hot, soft mouth around my-

"Haaagh, Vik- mmm ..."

My hips move on their own, pushing further into Victor's mouth. He moves slowly, agonisingly slow, teasing me with his tongue. I want him to move faster, I want the sensation to intensify. He pushes on my hips as I involuntarily buck upward.

I want more. I want him to-

"Hggh." My body flinches and shudders as he does something with his tongue. I think I just demanded more, but I can't be sure. All I'm focussed on is the amazing sensation.

His fingernails are digging into my legs, but I don't care. The sensation is building all through my body. I can barely breathe, I can barely focus. Victor leans up over me, kisses me, giving me a chance to calm down a bit. I don't want to calm down! I want-

Victor removes the costume fully and I lose all function. He's erect and flowing, staring at me intensely. He's over me again, and through the thumping, and pounding and sweating, I barely register what he's saying.

"-should do?"

I groan from the loss of sensation. I think I just bucked up against him. He's breathing slowly, deeply. He pulls my leg up and-

He ... He just ... The tight pulling sensation ... I'm squirming, trying to make it more comfortable, but every time I do, he moves again.

All sorts of weird sounds are coming out. Is this what it's meant to feel like? Victor kisses me softly. I'm lost in the feeling of his lips. It's different than before, deeper, more ... I don't know-

I'm panting against his lips, the uncomfortable tightness is slowly softening. I can breathe as cool air washes over my face where Victor has pulled away. His eyes are screwed shut, his jaw and mouth are tight. He's arched up over me and suddenly-

"Mmmmghh."

My insides are reduced to jelly as the most amazing feeling shoots through my entire body. It happens again and again and again and again.

I don't want him to stop. Whatever he is doing ... Oh my god, I don't ever want him to stop!

If I just ... Maybe ...

"Mmmm."

And then -

"Oghhagh."

\- the feeling that had been building explodes through my body and I'm ... I'm ...

Victor pants over me. His jaw is slack and he's licking his lips. Sweat shines on his forehead, his hair clings to his face, shrouding his eyes. I have never seen something so beautiful in my life.

All I can hear is our deep, slow breathing. The last of the sensation fades away. A strange calmness, a stillness even, fills me. I have no strength to move. I don't want to move right now. I am exactly where I want to be.

If that's Eros, I want it. I want those feelings, I want that sensation, I want to be devoured by it. I want it to fill me up and explode from every fibre of my being. I've been so stupid, thinking I could understand something like that without experiencing it first hand. I was so so dumb to think that it was easy to fake.

Victor wipes his thumb under my eyes. "What's this?" He holds out his thumb. "Why are you crying?"

And then the emotions explode, a lot like that other feeling. I can't control the sobbing, and try to turn away, try to shrink away into the pillows to hide the embarrassment. I am an idiot. I'm a stupid ignorant fool. I'm so embarrassed that I thought I could fake my way through the routine, pretending I knew what I was talking about.

"Well, I can't say I've ever had this reaction before," he says and laughs uncertainly. Yeah, just rub it in how experienced you are. You've probably slept with half the world! No wonder you're so good your routines. No wonder, you can make everyone melt at your feet. How many people do you have to sleep with to make sexiness that effortless? I was a fool, a stupid childish fool.

My cheeks flush with embarrassment. Every time I think about my stupid strategy to pretend I know what I'm talking about, I want to crawl under the bed, or throw myself out the window. Victor must have been laughing at me all this time as I floundered around the rink with my stupid awkward ideas of Eros. And the worst part? Victor didn't stop me from embarrassing myself. Not once did he say anything to me about how stupid I must have looked!

"Yuri-"

I slap his hand away and I know he's shocked. He pulls away, I know because I'm suddenly cold, but I don't care! He shouldn't have brought me here! He shouldn't have ... I feel so humiliated right now and I don't even know why.

He's rubbing my back, but I don't want him to. I really don't want him to touch me at all right now. I try to wriggle away from his touch, and thankfully he gets it.

"Well, if you didn't want to, you should have said something." The bed bounces as he gets up.

He brought me here deliberately! He doesn't care if I win the Grand Prix, he just wanted to-

I feel sick! I feel like I'm going to vomit! I'm sobbing again, huge breathless sobs that cause my entire body to shudder. I can't believe this!


	5. Chapter 5

I try to calm down, I'm trying to stop the shaking and the tears. I don't even know why I'm reacting like this! It's not fair on Victor to think those horrible things about him, I don't think that he'd even be capable of that.

I want to cry again just from the embarrassment of my reaction, but I don't, or at least don't completely break down. Victor probably - no definitely - hates me now. Oh god, what have I done? I can't believe I acted like. I pushed him away. Worse, I pushed him away for no reason.

The door opens and I jump off the bed. I'm in the bathroom before I know it. I can't face him. I can't explain what happened, and regret it painfully.

He knocks on the door quietly, he must have a plastic bag, it rustles as he raps on the door.

"I have pork cutlet." His muffled voice is light, but I can almost hear him begging. "I can't eat it all myself."

But, I just can't. I want to go out there, but I can't make my body move from the sink. He doesn't hate me, which is such a relief, otherwise why would he come back?

But then I realise something earth shattering that floors me and forces all the emotion back up through my body. Even if he was angry, or hated how I treated him, it wouldn't matter. I think he would come back anyway.

I grip the handle. I believe he would come back no matter what happened, and I feel disgusting thinking about how I treated him earlier. I open the door.

He's sitting at the dining table, facing the bathroom. There's a small bag in front of him which I'm guessing is the cutlet. As soon as he he sees me he goes to jump up, but doesn't and perches on the edge of his seat.

I want to go over there, I want to touch him, feel his skin, hear his breath, take in his scent. Oh god, I want him to stop looking at me like that. Like, I've ripped him apart.

"Do you want some pork cutlet?" His face contorts subtly with uncertainty. "It's the best you can buy. Nothing like your mother's of course-"

I hug him. Which is awkward when you're standing and he's sitting. I kneel in front of him, his eyes are huge. But then he hugs me tightly, pulls me into standing.

I breathe him in, take in his mind numbing scent, and bury my face into his shoulder.

"I'm sorry." It doesn't even cover it, but it's all that comes out.

"For what?" He gives me a sideways smile.

"I don't even ..." Know where that came from. I don't know why all of a sudden I was so angry. Maybe it was the stress? I always let my emotions overtake my logic when I'm under pressure. But, those stupid thoughts about Victor's motives? I can't get them out of my head and the shame makes me sick to my stomach.

He squeezes me and pulls away, but I'm not ready to let him go. I pull him closer. He smells so good ...

I let go, I'm staring at his shoes. High end sneakers. Shimmering black and red. A design I haven't seen before.

"Look at me, Yuri," he says as his cool fingers pull my chin upwards.

Finally, I look at him. He's not smiling, his lips are carved into a hard pout as he narrows his eyes. I can't look away, but I want to. He sighs and relaxes, releasing me from his scowl.

"Let's go." He grabs my hand and pulls me from the room.

We're at Ice Castle now, honestly the last place I want to be. Victor's lacing up his skates. Mine sit on the floor in front of me. Victor slips onto the ice, warming up and stretching as he slides across the rink.

I can't take my eyes off him, but the familiar awe I usually feel, the breathless rapture, just isn't there. His movements are so natural, so fluid. Yes, it is beautiful as he flies and swirls over the ice, but I have a new perspective on that body now, and the awe has been replaced with understanding.

I can never be like Victor. That is the truth, his strength and power way he doesn't know how to give up are attributes I just don't have. He's more intimidating now than before I knew him personally and all I'm left with is an awkwardness and resignation that he's even further out of reach.

Victor leans against the side of the rink in front of me.

"As your coach, I should remind you that you have a competition next week." He holds out his hand expectantly. I finish lacing up my skates and stand up. He takes my hand and we glide out to the middle.

I don't have much motivation for more than figures. I'm focussed on the moves, focussed on get them perfect. I see Victor out of the corner of my eye. He just-

He flies straight into his signature move and ends with a sit spin. He notices me watching and glides over, pushing me across the ice from behind by the hips.

"Forget the competition," he says in my ear. I wish I could. "Just skate." He glides away, leaves the ice and leans against the side of the rink. He nods in encouragement and I take a steadying breath.

You know, he is exactly right. Forget the competition, forget China, forget Yurio. Forget all of it. The music starts and I perform the opening sequence. Just skate. Just forget everything and skate.

Let the music fill me, let it guide me around the rink. Victor suddenly invades my mind. Naked, needy, panting. His jaw tight, eyes screwed shut. Thrusting into me, biting his lips, licking his lips, his hair clinging to his face in a sweaty shroud.

"Mmm."

No one heard me groan from the memory. Victor blurs in my vision as I glide by. The space spins, I close my eyes and enter the last jump. I don't fall. I continue around the ice, peforming the last step sequence. But it's not a performance anymore.

Victor wanted it, Victor wanted me. He actually wanted me and I gave myself to him fully. He is so indescribably sexy and in tune with his own body and sexuality. He is a god of more than just skating.

I realise the music has stopped and I'm standing in the middle of the rink in the closing pose of the routine. Victor's eyes are on me. He enters the rink and glides over to me.

"Who were you thinking of just now?"

My face heats and a gasp escapes my throat. I want to touch him again. His V-neck T-shirt reveals his pecs, his neck is muscular but lean. He's searching my face.

I want to ... Just ... I'm kissing him. I've pulled him roughly to me and am assaulting his lips but I don't care. He pulls away and I'm having trouble breathing. I can't look at him. I'm embarrassed by what I just did.

His chuckle annoys me. Like he's mocking me or something. No. He's not. Of course he's not. He closes the gap he created.

"That is very flattering." He smiles and holds up his phone. "Do you want to see what I just saw?"

Huh? I'm usually the one watching Victor's videos, trying to emulate his routines and move as he moves. This was definitely a first. And besides ...

"I'm not good with watching myself."

He hooks his arm through mine "Indulge me," he says and leads me over to the edge. I have a drink while Victor fiddles with his phone. He drapes himself over my shoulder and holds his phone up to me.

"First, we'll watch the video from last week."

Oh great. Just perfect. I reluctantly watch the video. The moves are there, the jumps are fine. I could have got more height on the quad toe, I could have kept my leg straighter-

"You're over-analysing again," Victor says and wags his finger at me. Of course I am. I can't help it. I am my harshest critic.

"Why are you smiling?" Victor's always smiling. Mostly. But this smile is different. There's more feeling behind it. It reaches his eyes making them sparkle. Even though the smile was small, it was the most genuine I've seen from him.

He holds up his phone silently, kisses me on the cheek and turns to his phone to watch. He leans his head on my shoulder as the video starts.

Yeah, there it was. The same opening pose, the same opening figures the same ... But ... It wasn't. It was different somehow. I couldn't take my eyes from the screen. I'm floored, realising I was -

An involuntary gasp comes out. My hand covers my gaping mouth.

"Do you see it?" Victor whispers, and squeezes me around the shoulders. I did see it, especially in the second step sequence and quadruple jump set, but saying it out loud seemed a bit arrogant. But it was undeniable. I was moving better than Victor.

I'm watching as I glide around the ice, watching, as my eyes close and move into the final jump sequence. Not only do I land the jumps, but I don't even look like it takes any effort. My legs are straighter in the spins, I look so relaxed. I almost forgot that I was watching myself.

And then the video changes. It switches to Victor's face, distorted from the movement of the camera. And then the screen goes black.

"That was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen, Yuri."

"It's nothing compared to you."

He huffs. "Why do that?"

"I was just saying that you are-"

"-do you know what makes me who I am, Yuri?"

Actually, no. I don't think anyone can figure that out. He is a mystery.

"I know I'm good at this."

"Everyone knows how good you are."

"I don't need everyone else telling me, I need to aknowledge it myself. Until you acknowledge that you are good, this-" he taps his phone, "-won't mean anything."

I'm not like him. He is so confident, overly confident. Not that it's a bad thing, it's just I could never be like that.

"If I tell you it was good, would you believe me?" I would say I believe him, but I wouldn't. He laughs in frustration. "What do I have to do to make you believe in yourself?"

"I don't know." Can I? I've failed so much in my career. Gradually, I think I've started to believe I am failure.

I step back out onto the ice. I'm just gliding mindlessly around the rink. I'm just mindlessly following figures, and throwing jumps in. I'm just trying to find the will to believe - at all - that this isn't a waste of time.

I've never skated like that before. I've never moved so fluidly or effortlessly. I've never seemed so relaxed. Thinking back to earlier, I don't remember actually focussing on the routine at all. I was thinking about that morning and not much else.

Victor's eyes follow me as I skate over to him. I put my glasses on and hold out my hand.

"I need to see it again."

Victor hands over his phone and I start the video. There it is, the moment I start moving better than Victor. And it was the moment I started thinking about this morning. Why haven't I ever figured this out before?

I hand the phone back to Victor as the video ends. I've been sabotaging my career for all this time. I've been too focussed on winning that I mess up every time.

That's the secret of Victor's success. That's how he's managed to stay on top for all these years. He doesn't focus on the technicalities of the sport, he focusses on the feelings.

"Yuri, are you okay?"

His words snap me out of my thoughts. I nod, but I'm having trouble speaking. Victor has been trying to crack me open for all these weeks to help me become the skater he - I - knew I could be.

"I'll make you feel again, Victor. You will feel everything I feel, like you're skating next to me."

He pulls me close. So close, I feel his breath on my cheek and lips. "Win the Grand Prix, and I will."

"What?"

"The exhibition after the Grand Prix? Don't tell me you forgot?"

"I honestly haven't thought about it." I haven't been on the podium, so I've never had to do the exhibition. It's not something I've had a lot of experience in.

"But there will be plenty of time for that. First we have to get through China."

"And Russia."

"And Russia," he agrees. "But, I have this feeling this year will be different."

"It will be. Because of you."

He shakes his head. "Because of you."

He is so incredibly hot. So irresistible. "Victor?"

"Yes, Yuri?"

"Can I kiss you now?"

His eyes shine and his lips twitch into a smile. "Please."

So I do, right there on the side of my home rink. His lips are soft, he sucks my bottom lip and my heart thumps from the sensation. He pulls away, searches my face, eyes roaming everywhere.

"I don't regret what happened this morning," he whispers. I don't either, but he cuts me off with a raised finger. "I hope you don't either, and I hope it won't change anything between us." He sounded sad, or at least deflated. "I promise I won't-"

"It doesn't. It won't. Victor, I don't cope well under stress. It was just the stress, okay? I don't regret anything." Except how I acted earlier. "I ..." Loved every moment of it? I can't stop thinking about it? I want it to happen again. Now. I can't say that! He'll think I'm creepy! "Enjoyed it, okay. It was amazing."

"Amazing?"

More than. "Yes. Amazing."

I realise he's slipping his hands around my sides. He's stepping closer than before, and suddenly I'm hyper aware of where we are. I step back.

"We should get back. I haven't finished packing and I'm starving." My stomach growls on cue. I don't want to be away from him, but if I don't start packing, I'm not going anywhere. "Come on." I grab his hand and pull him off the ice.


	6. Chapter 6

**Warning: Dirty Alert!**

 **Enjoy ^_^**

I zippered the last suitcase. My body is stiff and sore, and I've been daydreaming about the baths for the past hour.

I realised awhile ago, I've never competed in the cup of China. I wonder what it'll be like? It won't be all bad. Phitchit will be there. At least I'll have someone to talk to.

I haven't seen Phitchit since he moved back to Thailand. We text and call, but it's not the same. I must admit, I miss him. But, it won't be long now and I'll see him. I should get him a gift. He likes hamsters. Maybe a hamster plushie? I'll see if I can find one for him tomorrow before we leave.

I'm at the baths. I head out to the open spring. A foreign language rings out into the late afternoon. Quick, angry exchanges. Victor, so naked, stands with his back to me, on the phone. He's yelling something I can't understand and gesturing wildly with his free hand.

I hear my name amongst the angry Russian, and hide behind the statue to hear. But, I can't make any of it out. Victor let's loose with one more quick barrage and tosses his phone aside.

I take the opportunity to make my escape -

"Yuri?"

I turn to him, and his nakedness. He's standing with legs wide and hands on hips.

"I really wanted a soak, but you were on the phone - I didn't hear anything by the way - so, I was going to come back later."

He puills me forward, waving his hand. "Davai, Yuri. Don't be silly. Get in." He whips my towel off and practically pushes me into the water. What does 'davai' mean? He says that a lot.

He jumps in, splashing water everywhere and spins into a swan toe. His leg is so lean and defined. His pointed toe is perfect. He then drapes himself over me, and I'm fully aware of his crotch pressed into my hip.

"I'll miss it here," he says and disappears under the water, only to reemerge a moment later. "I should have tried this earlier." He brightens up and turns to me. "We should have sex in here. So, I can remember it fondly."

I feel the heat rise in my cheeks as my heart - and other things - thump. We could ... Actually ... Because the flights were changed, and we weren't meant to have our farewell dinner until tomorrow, and the outside baths close in exactly two minutes ... It would be the perfect -

"You're thinking about it, aren't you?" His expression changes, softens. I love that look, no one else gets to see it but me. I'm not an idiot, I know I'm not the only person he's ever looked at like that. But he's looking at me like that now.

He leans up over me, hooks his leg around my thigh and stares at me. His fingers snake around my neck and he pulls me close. I close my eyes and focus on his lips and his fingertips tickling my neck and scalp.

The lights go out in the changing area. The bath is illuminated only by moonlight. Suddenly, Victor lifts me up out of the water. I gasp as I'm bent backward over the side with Victor between my legs.

He digs his fingers into my butt making me flinch. He's nibbling my inner thigh, slow, gentle touches of his lips and teeth. His hair shines in the moonlight, it's soft under my fingers.

My sides and torso tickle as he slides his hands up my body. The hairs on the back of my neck stand up and I shiver. I'm starting to pant as my body feels like it's on fire.

I'm trying to pull him closer, but I can't get a good hold on his back. I want him to -

"Kiss me."

He bends my leg back over my torso, and pecks the back of my knee. My leg tingles from the sensation. He's licking up my calf, licking, nibbling sucking my leg. My body is reduced to jelly as his lips assault my body.

He pulls my head back and licks my throat roughly. I'm hanging onto him as he finally kisses me properly again. I flinch from the sudden invasion of his fingers.

"I want to be in you, Yuri," he pants. "I want to feel you squirming under me, I want to feel you tighten around me -"

I was already hard, but his words are pushing me over the brink. My penis twitches as his fingers massage my entrance. I flip him over and straddle his lap, which is difficult against the side of the bath.

There's one moment of calm where everything seems to stop and I can hear his slow, deep panting, and then ...

Our mouths smash together, we're grappling with each other, he keeps pushing up with his hips, keeps pulling painfully on my hair. And then, I'm sliding slowly, carefully down on top of his hard on. He thrusts deeper, slowly, like he's savouring it or something.

He pushes in further, until he's poking at something deep inside me. I can't help but press down and wiggle, hitting that spot over and over.

He mutters something I don't understand and suddenly my chest is pressed into the side of the bath. Victor's entire bodyweight crushes me from behind as he pushes urgently into me.

"Like that." It was a groan. I didn't mean it to be. He moves faster, exploding my insides with every thrust. "Just. Like that."

And then, he pulls out, leaving me throbbing and empty. I think I'm whining, moaning from the lack of connection. He pushes me up, pulls me forward. I'm sitting on the edge of the bath.

He's stroking my thighs, but I'm annoyed that he's stopped. Then, he's kissing my thigh. Kissing the crease between my leg and my crotch. Kissing my very hard and twitching penis.

He starts slowly, but I can't help thrusting into his mouth. And unlike this morning, he lets me. The warm throbbing builds as I move faster and faster. I'm almost there -

He pulls back, pulls himself out of the water, dragging me up by the hand. I'm barely upright as he drags me over to the building. I thought we were going inside, but instead he slams me into the wall around the corner from the door, flattening me with his body, smashing our mouths together.

This is the roughest, hottest thing that has ever happened to me. I don't think he's in control anymore - not that I am either - and it is so sexy. He grips my hips painfully, sliding me up the wall until my calves are balanced on his forearms.

He continues assaulting me with his mouth, and I think he's sliding his fingers into my entrance. It's too much! I won't be able to hold on much longer!

And then, he drops me to my feet and steps away, with a finger on is chin. I can barely stand up, my knees are jelly, I can barely breath, and I'm rubbing at myself, trying to find some relief from the throbbing in my crotch.

I don't know where he got it from, but Victor holds up his phone. I'm blinded by the flash and hear the click of the camera. Then he tosses the phone aside. It all happened in a split second. He kisses me, and my heart resumes pounding.

Then he's smirking at me. I don't know why, and then ... He ... Does a hand stand, his feet land on the wall either side of my head. I'm face to face with his hard on. He's sucking and sliding his lips on mine magnificently. I guess ... I could ...

I stroke and massage him. He pushes down into my fingers and groans. He's flowing, dripping down his shaft. I lick at it, feel it tense under my tongue. I'm not going to lie, if he pulls away one more time, I will slap him.

I match his rhythm, focussing on all the stimulation, sensation and feeling terrorising my body. I can feel him tense severely in my mouth. My lips are dry and numb, my jaw aches. I stroke his thighs, he shivers, pulses in my mouth.

And then, again, he pulls away. But, it's not for long. He's all over me, desperately clinging to me. He's murmuring something again, and again I don't understand the words. He keeps murmuring, keeps muttering between nibbling and licking at my skin.

He turns me around, drapes himself over my back and enters me again, groaning and growling as he inserts himself fully. It feels different, tighter more ... I'm not sure. He slams into me again and again and again.

But it's different. He's being less aggressive, less rough. Whatever he's murmuring is soft. His movement is more tender, gentle, but just as intense. And I'll admit it, I loved it. I could feel every, my body was responding in ways that I didn't know it could. I was shuddering, Victor's raged breaths puffed against my shoulder.

He groans, cutting off his foreign words, and slips further into me than before. I know he just came. He's shaking against my back and he's twitching inside me. His hot breath on my back slows. He's still thrusting into me. I silently release, relishing in the warm throbbing exploding through my body. It was the most intense I've ever had.

I turn around, lean against the wall. Victor holds onto my hips and leans against my shoulder. We just stand there like that. I don't know for how long.

His hair is clammy, the moon is bright and there's no clouds. I don't know what the time is, but it feels late. I'm definitely sleepy. Victor's eyes are closed, but he's not sleeping. He keeps tickling my leg as he strokes it.

A horrible sound pierces through the quiet. It's just Victor's phone.

"Victor," I whisper.

"Hm?"

"Your phone's going."

"Mm."

But he doesn't move. His phone goes quiet. Unfortunately, as nice as this was, and as much as I could have stayed there forever with him, I was barely able to stand anymore, and it was even harder to keep my eyes open.

"I have to get up." I heave against his loose form. He groans in protest, but stands up finally. The blood rushes back to my butt and legs, and I stretch.

We put on our robes and slippers. Victor follows me inside, I drop my slippers at the door and head upstairs. When we get to my room I close the door behind us. I am tired ... I am, but ...

"Do you want to stay?"

My hair pulls as he wipes it from my face. He kisses my cheek and hugs me. "Does anyone come in here?"

"Besides me? No."

He squeezes me and pulls me over to the bed. He pulls the sheet over us and pulls me into his chest. He's stroking my hair, it feels so good. I can barely keep my eyes open, but I need to know ...

"Victor?"

"Hm?" My side tickles as his fingers trail over my skin.

"I was just wondering ... I can't speak Russian. What were you saying? He leans up over me after a minute and kisses my shoulder.

"When was this?"

"Earlier." You know, when you were pounding me into the side of the bath?

"Oh, it was nothing. Yurio can be very stubborn, don't you agree?"

What? What does Yurio have to do with anything? I turn over. He smiles.

"I don't understand."

"Well, Yurio insists I choreograph his exhibition. But, I obviously can't go home for that long. I was trying to explain this to him, but he won't listen."

He's talking about the angry phone call I interrupted. "No, not that. I mean -"

He kisses me. "Go to sleep. We have a long day tomorrow."

Is he avoiding the question, or doesn't he remember? I'm really too tired to press the conversation anyway, but ...

"At least tell me what 'davai' means."

He chuckles softly. "It means 'come on'. Or 'go for it', or a few other things. It's hard to explain. It depends on the context."

Well, that clears that up. "Victor -"

"Aren't you tired?"

"Yes, exhausted, but I want to know ... What would you call me in Russian?"

He thinks about it for a second, then shoots off a few unfamiliar words. It sounded like 'moy sosh venty', or something.

"And what does that mean?"

His eyes sparkle as he grins. "Ask me after the Grand Prix." He then slaps a wet kiss on my neck and turns over.

 **AN:** And that's it :) Thanks for reading!


End file.
